


Love Hurts

by dance_the_code



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magical Realism, Pain, sort've
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-01-21 22:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12467588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance_the_code/pseuds/dance_the_code
Summary: Charlie finds his soulmate. It is not exactly as painful as he thought it would be. But, that might be the drugs.Not Conference Wives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soulmate AU – the universe hates us so terrible things happen when we encounter our soulmate au no one asked for, absolutely no one.  
> So – this is sort’ve an apology fic for Lady E. She told me a while back that we have two very different ways of telling stories, especially love stories, in hers, no matter what, love wins. In mine, well, love is going to have to put up with a lot if it want s to win and sometimes, well…sorry love.  
> But this morning, I woke up with this idea and it would not let me go and it would not let me stop laughing, so here is a soulmate au, that is up for grabs, go ahead and play with it.
> 
> Basics: The universe decided that everyone was just too wrapped up in themselves, too busy to really notice when they encountered their soulmates. Thus, the universe decided to slow everyone down a bit, by making calamitous things happen. This is not a I look into their eyes and suddenly there’s color soulmate au, nor is it a first words, matching symbols happy fluffy soulmate au. This is a I was hit by a car and they were there getting pick-pocketed au, a we were jogging in opposite directions and were hit by lightening soulmate au. A soulmate au where finding your soulmate has managed to kill people. Happiest day of your damn life is filled with pain and suffering, but at least you slowed down enough from your busy life of self-absorbtion to see that, hey, that person who is also suffering is the one you should suffer with for the rest of time. Hey – love wins.

Title: Love Hurts

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, not mine, characters belong to their creators, etc. Only thing mine here is the soulmate au idea. 

Don held the phone to his ear and listened to his brother rant.

“This is literally insane. This cannot be remotely acceptable. Don, I can’t find anything, you said you left a message?”

“Yeah, Charlie, a while ago, when I got the call and headed out here to the crime scene. What happened? Your department secretary is usually on top of these things.”

“She met her soul mate.”

“Uh oh.”

“Uh oh is right, she was walking across campus and was hit by a truck. He ran his bicycle into a light post. They will be in the same hospital room, making googly eyes at each other because they will both be in traction and her office is a disaster area that I will probably end up having to create an unique algorithm to sort in order to find anything resembling this message you left for me.”

“Chuckles, it really is not all that bad.”

“Says the guy who survived three years of calamitous accidents before he and his equally clueless soulmate realized they were meant to be together and it was not just occupational hazards.”

“Chuck, that’s just uncalled for, Coop and I are very happy and it was not three years.”

“Right, it was two years and seven months. You are lucky that Cooper has a very solid cranium or you could be spending the joys of your relationship visiting him in a hospital ward while he languishes in a vegetative state.”

“Charlie! It wasn’t that bad.”

“Don, Five percent of the world population perishes in the process of meeting their soul mates. It is a terrible thing.”

“Larry was fine.”

“He was rendered homeless.”

“David.”

“Trapped in a burning building.”

“Amita.”

“Bit by a snake.”

“That friend of yours, the computer programmer.”

“Attacked by geese.”

“Her girlfriend.”

“Fell in a hole in the street.”

“That research assistant you had.”

“Nearly electrocuted by a faulty calculator.”

“Megan” 

“Kidnapped!”

“Colby.”

“Almost executed.”

"Millie."

"Mugged by a mime."

"Susan"

"Fell out a window."

"Chuckles, you know that's not exactly what happened."

"Right, right. First she tripped over her cat, then as she turned around she smacked her hand on a hot iron and then she fell out the window."

"Was only the first floor, though."

"Still dangerous."

“Mom and Dad.”

“She was hit by the police car that he had been placed in after being arrested.”

“It was a gentle tap, she didn’t even bruise.”

“Oh, of course, a love tap from a police cruiser. I hear birds singing, cupids sending out deadly arrows of destruction.”

“Charlie, just grab the files from the office and meet me at the crime scene. Please?”

“Okay. I will see you there. I might be a little late.”

“Why?”

“Made idealistic undergrads cry. They seem to still believe the movies where you accidentally spill coffee on someone’s lap and they trip on their shoelaces standing up. Honestly, that level of minor incident in soulmate meetings is barely even statistically significant.”

“Charlie, stop. Just because you seem to feel like your lack of finding your soulmate means that the universe has some dire consequence set up for you doesn’t mean that you won’t just spill coffee or trip on your shoelaces and end up happily ever after.”

“Says the guy who finally clued in after six broken bones, two concussions, a gun shot wound and being bitten by a badger and those are just the physical things that happened to you.”

“Just calm down the undergrads and get here as soon as you can.”

Charlie hung up on him.

Don sat on a bench near the crime scene wondering what could have happened. His brother was now over two hours late and not answering his cell. 

Megan could not reach Agent Edgerton either and his plane had arrived hours ago. 

Don jumped as his cellphone rang.

“Don Eppes.”

“Hi. Hi. Don. Yes. Don.”

His brother sounded a little spacey.

“Charlie?!? Where are you? You were supposed to meet me here hours ago!”

“I got shot.”

Don felt the blood drain from his face. 

“What?”

“I got shot at the FBI office.”

Don’s mind raced through the possibilities, terrorists, hate groups, mentally disturbed interns.

“Charlie?”

“He shot me. No one can figure out how, because he had unloaded the gun. There’s film.”

“Who shot you, Charlie?”

“My soul mate.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yep. He apologizes a lot. Also to you, because he can’t work the case.”

“Charlie? You aren’t making sense.”

“Sorry, there are drugs. “

“I bet there are, buddy. Can you explain what happened in three sentences? I am on my way.”

“I went to the FBI and picked up the files. An intern told me that Agent Edgerton was down at the range and was also working this case and maybe we should ride to the crime scene together. I went down to the range and he shot me.”

“Okay. Where did he shoot you?”

“In front of the door to the range.”

“On your body, Chuck.”

“He shot me in the foot.”

“In the foot.”

“With an unloaded gun. He’s suspended for the length of the investigation so he probably can’t work your case.”

“Well, at least the worst is over?”

“Ha. Says you. We haven’t told dad yet.”

“I’m on my way. No more phone calls until you’re off the drugs.”

"I don't hurt as much as I think I should right now."

"That's the drugs, buddy."

“He really is sorry.”

“I bet he is.”

“And kinda cute in a deadly sort of way.”

“Hang up now, Chuckles.”

Don tossed his phone onto the passenger seat and drove to the hospital. At least he could now stop worrying about his brother meeting his soulmate and start thinking of a plan to explain the lack of grandchildren to their father. Maybe he and Coop would adopt.


	2. Something for the pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooper tries to determine what to do for his and Don’s anniversary and whether or not he has the right date. Because, well, between the concussions and the multiple hospital visits, somethings get a little hazy, but love, that’s the important bit.

Disclaimer: if you recognize it, not mine.

Billy Cooper was not the type to get all gooey about relationships. His life had enough painful episodes that the entire soul mate thing seemed like an impossibility. Either that or he was going to die in the process of meeting his soul mate if not years before, really, the universe liked to see him in pain, liked to see him suffer. 

But, he had just finished a case and listened to Don’s voicemail. “Hey Coop, Charlie found his soul mate. Finally, it’s not too bad, he’s in the hospital. He was shot in the foot, by Edgerton of all people. I’m on my way to see him.” 

Ah, new love. So painful.

The problem was what Don had said after that. “So sorry, I probably won’t be home for dinner.” and then he said, “happy anniversary.”

The problem with that was Cooper was not entirely certain if today was their anniversary and if so which anniversary it was. It could be the anniversary of the first injury they shared or the last one. It could be the anniversary of their first actual date, first time having sex or possibly when they filled out the “yes, I found my soul mate paperwork.” Cooper swears that to this day the girl in the insurance office is still rolling her eyes about him and Don. 

Now, he could solve this problem relatively easily by checking his and Don’s medical records, but somehow that felt like cheating and also made him feel rather inadequate. Don was his world, his rock, his warm, safe place. He should know stupid stuff like when to celebrate their anniversaries. 

He stares at the computer screen for a moment before biting back a curse. He opens his medical record. He checks the dates.

Nothing. Nothing matches up for an anniversary.

Great. 

He opens his insurance file. Not the date they filed the paperwork either.

Hell.

So, it was a sappy romantic relationship movement anniversary and there was no way Cooper was going to remember which one. 

He rubbed the back of his head, right where the scar from incident that should have told him it was love number six ridged across his skull. He should get Don a present. 

Food? Chocolate? Alcohol? Sex stuff? Flowers?

His head started to hurt. Maybe one of those heart shaped bottles of aspirin. 

Cooper closed down the computer and headed to the hospital. He would stop for take out and the aspirin...and if he happened to see something interesting for their bedside table, well, he’d pick that up too. Maybe restock the first aid kit while he's at it. 

Can’t be too careful with romantic moments, love’s dangerous.


End file.
